Not so perfect perfectionist

My mom and my husband can both tell you I'm a perfectionist. I was born that way. I can't leave the house for the day without the dishes and vacuuming being done. Laundry has to be folded and put away properly. I don't care what the kids choose to wear, as long as it is clean and their hair is brushed. Games must be played by the rules. All bills are paid on time. Birthday parties are major. I understand that I have a sickness. My astrological sign is Virgo, which is characterized by traits that are pretty much OCD. Yep, that is me. Logic rules my world: why would you put dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is right beside it?

And then there is parenthood. What a way to screw with a perfectionist's head!!! There is no perfect parent; there is no one even close. Parenthood is a constant struggle from day one. Don't get me wrong, it is also the most joyous thing I have ever experienced! But is is WORK. Feeding, sleeping schedule, changing diapers leads into teething, walking, running. Are they eating right? Watching too much TV? Going to the right preschool? Learning at the right pace? Meeting developmental milestones? Listening to you? Fighting with their siblings? Respectful? Obeying rules? Are they being brats? Do they share? Are they making friends? Riding a bike? Counting? Reading? And as a parent, am I doing a good job? Am I mean? Setting a good example? Feeding them all organic healthy food? Buying the right toys? The right books? The right clothes? Is it ok that my 5 year old can't read yet? Is that show appropriate? Am I ignoring my husband? Am I a helicopter mom? A disengaged mom? Too nice? There are so many things that I could be doing wrong.

But the bottom line is that I know my children love me and our family. They are my greatest accomplishment. I may not be perfect and I may berate myself and cry myself to sleep sometimes worrying that I am doing right by them. I stress constantly over whether I am doing a good enough job raising them. And that is what tells me that I am. The fact that my heart and soul and mind are poured into being a mommy. I may not be perfect, but I am perfectly suited to be their mommy. They will learn about struggles and failure and still continuing to try your best. They will learn that there is no such thing as perfect. They will learn goofiness and silliness. They will learn that mommy and daddy love each other and work hard to maintain balance in our family. They will learn to know and love themselves. All because we AREN'T perfect. And I'm ok with that.