As all parents know, kids go through phases. Sometimes they are adorable, sometimes they make you want to scream. Sometimes you have no idea how to handle them. We are currently in a phase with Roy that has had me stumped. For lack of a better term, I will refer to it as the "Mama's Boy" phase. My little man has always been super attached to me, which is awesome. He was an avid, round the clock nurser, both for comfort and for hunger :) Man, I would nurse that kid while I did everything from cooking dinner to eating dinner. Yes, COOKING dinner. But I was fortunate that I never felt "touched out" with either of my children as some moms have had to deal with. You know, that feeling of just needing to not be touched by anyone, for any reason, because you have had a little one attached to you all freaking day. But now, for the past few weeks, my little man has had me feeling a little touched out. He will kiss me about 1000 times a day, he tells me he loves me about 2000 times a day, he touches me all day long, he wants to sleep in our bed, he has made my arm sore from kissing it in the same spot all day, he will kiss my feet if he is sitting near me. Now don't get me wrong, this is a good problem to have. I do not, in any way, want to discourage him from expressing his emotions, his love, his affection. Boys in our culture are told so often to downplay emotion; they get reinforcement for being tough, not for expressing emotion. I refuse to stifle his emotions. BUT... it has entered a phase that can make me a little crazy. If he gets up before me in the morning, he doesn't want me to go for a run. He wants to run down the hall and jump in bed and snuggle. Great, but I have to, want to, need to go for my morning run. So then I have to deal with a meltdown. We have tried to explain that everyone has "a bubble" of personal space, but I don't think he cares :) He does not accept Daddy snuggles as a substitute. He does not want to play in his room. He wants Mommy.
So this morning, after he freaked out, I asked him if he could tell me WHY he was so upset about me going for a run. He said he didn't want to be left behind. Wow. Is that what he has been worried about??? He is so mature and verbal for his age that I sometimes forget that he is only 3 (almost 4!). All I had to to was ask him and he did a really good job of explaining how he was feeling. I calmly told him that I would be back soon, that I would ALWAYS come back, and that I wasn't leaving him, just leaving the house for a little bit. He totally accepted it.
I went for my run, and as I often do, focused on the issue that had been bothering me. I pour myself into my running, body mind and soul. And I came back with such a clear head, such a better understanding of my little one and how to handle this issue. I realized how fortunate I am, how fortunate WE are, to have such a sweet, loving soul as our son. I realized (like I didn't already know!) how truly blessed I am. There are so many people who would love to have the opportunity to hold a child of their own, so many people who would love to have so much love in their lives. I just needed a change of perspective. I needed to count my blessings, and you'd better believe my kids are at the top of the list.
