I don't ever want to be a helicopter mom. I am very invested in making sure my kids develop into strong, independent individuals. I think it is really important for them to figure things out on their own, learn at their own pace, find out what motivates them and go for it. I see parents all the time who must feel differently; they hover over their kids and micro-manage each and every move that their children make. I'm pretty sure that 6 year old can navigate the slide on his own. If your daughter gets sand in her shoes or mud in her hair, it is not the end of the world. If your kid breaks a rule and has to deal with a natural consequence, so be it; lesson learned.
All that being said, this mommy is learning that we each have our breaking points. We each have those little things that bug the crap out of us and we have a hard time letting go of. I am learning what mine are as my children are branching out into different activities. So far we have tried soccer, gymnastics and now swim lessons. We have been lucky to have had awesome coaches and teachers so far, who have set boundaries about how much the parents can interfere. This is a lovely concept: teachers teach my kids new things, I watch without undermining the teacher's authority. Of course, we have set our own ground rules with the kids before each class starts. If they repeatedly disobey the teacher after two warnings they are removed from class for the day. I have taken my children home in the middle of soccer class because they deliberately disobeyed our ground rules. Boy did they fuss and cry-but I only had to do it once. Lesson learned. At the same time, I understand that they are 5 and 3, so they aren't going to be perfect, nor do I punish them for being kids. Usually the teacher or coach has things under control, and I really want them to learn to be respectful of those authority figures and to follow the rules on their own. I won't be able to be with them when they are at school, so I need them to learn to listen to those in charge.
Last week at their first swim class, I was ridiculously proud of them. They are in different classes, but in the pool at the same time so I can watch both of them. Parents are not allowed in the pool area so that kids don't get distracted (brilliant! sorry helicopter mom, sit down and watch please!). I was almost in tears watching them follow directions the first time and even willingly do things I had been trying for a while to get them to try. Awesome!!! I was beaming with pride when I lined up with the other parents at the end of class to get them. The instructor gives a little report on every child's progress to each parent, and both kids got really good reports- Roy even got a hard earned ribbon for floating on his back (big deal at his age!). And then...Stella's instructor suggested that extra classes would be helpful for her holding her breath under water, but if not, no big deal, she did a fantastic job. Aaaaaaaand enter crazy worried mom mode: is she ok? i thought she did great! do we need extra classes?? Thankfully all of this was internal dialog. And thankfully my husband can talk me off the ledge. Really?? Was I really worried about this? Come on Chas, you have an amazing daughter who just made you so proud you were almost in tears! It was her first class! Absolutely no need to freak out. Count your blessings girl; if this is your biggest concern with your daughter, then life is good. I know so many families that have REAL issues and challenges; being a pro at proper breathing techniques is not something to worry about. But I couldn't help it, I did have those fleeting moments of real concern. Ahhhhhh, mommy guilt. My point is, we all have our "helicopter" moments; the key is to reign it in and put things in perspective. I am supremely blessed that we can even afford swim lessons and extra activities for the kids- I am not going to sabatoge the fun by being a freak :) And on that note, it is time to pack their bags for swim class...I'll leave MY baggage at home.
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